Danika’s Birth Story

It’s taken me a few weeks to fully process and reflect on my most recent birth experience. Bryce has been with our family earthside for 7 weeks now. It’s been an ever evolving journey, but I dare say we’re as adjusted to our new “normal” as much as I think we will. During this time we’ve not only adapted to life as a family of 7 (7?! That still shocks me every time I say it) but we’ve been living through a worldwide pandemic that has changed almost every aspect of life as we previously knew it. It’s been a whirlwind of a ride but it all started roughly 11 months ago. 

During the summer of 2019 I was fully engulfed and in the thick of my midwifery apprenticeship. I had spent almost the last 2 years at Brookhaven Natural Birth Center soaking up every ounce of knowledge and experience that I was able to. I was fully focused on my goals and serving the families of the birth center, the last thing I had on my mind was becoming a client myself. 

However, June of that summer I realized something was a little off. I wasn’t feeling like myself, my cycle which was wildly unpredictable, was completely absent. That’s when I found myself in the womb room with cold gel on my abdomen and Misty closely evaluating the monitor of “Bertha”, her trusted ultrasound machine. “I’m pretty sure that’s something right there.” she said, pointing at a tiny shadow that would disappear as quick as it appeared on the monitor. I still wasn’t convinced. It only took dozens of positive at home pregnancy tests and other Ultrasonographers pictures a week later before it sunk in that yes, we were having another baby. 

This was baby number 5 for me, although we have one set of twins, so pregnancy number 4. Having done the pregnancy thing a few times and being very focused on my goal of finishing my midwifery apprenticeship, this pregnancy just flew by. It went along fairly easily and before I knew it we were well into winter and my belly was undeniably growing by the week. We had decided to let the gender of this baby be a surprise. We already had most of the baby essentials from our older children, so why not let this baby be a mystery. It was a sweet surprise to look forward to. 

Around 34 weeks pregnancy started to really set it. Getting up and down, squatting at births and sleeping wherever I was able was taking its toll. I found myself more tired and overall moving at a slower speed. Luckily there was an end in sight. I had exceeded the number of births required to finish my apprenticeship and had far beyond the amount of clinic experience required. My last week on call at the birth center I had some random contractions, enough I knew my body was signally to me it was time to slow down. That Friday I was officially 36 weeks pregnant and it was my last day on call. That evening my wonderful Brookhaven family and friends surprised me with a Blessing Way, it was the perfect way to relax and get into the mindset that it was time to be ready to welcome this baby. 

I had everything set. We were planning a home birth. I had taken over the kids playroom and my awesome husband, David, set up the birth tub and adorned the entire room in twinkle lights. It was the perfect space. I had my playlist ready, the bluetooth speaker charged, candles in all the right spots and my mother had arrived. We had planned all the details, the older children were going to witness their new sibling be born, we had everything ready to make him/her a birthday cake and my postpartum meal supplies were all set along with the ingredients for Hot Toddies for all.  All we needed was a baby.

 I thought for sure once I relaxed and was ready that labor would just take off and it would be time. Wrong. I had irregular contractions on and off the next couple of  weeks. They weren’t strong, just annoying. The more they continued, the more frustrated I became. I knew that birth would only happen when it was ready, but that didn’t stop me from doing everything in my power to encourage it. There was lots of stair climbing, walking, special foods and red raspberry leaf tea during those weeks. My due date came and went, my mom had to go back home after spending almost 4 weeks waiting for this baby to arrive and I was feeling defeated. I knew nature would eventually take its course and this baby would be born, but it felt like an eternity. Each night I would gain false hope as contractions would pick up, only to die down and I sleep through the night. 

Two days after my due date was just like the last couple of weeks. Contractions that seemed to be a little stronger and come a little closer together but nothing to write home about. That night I went to sleep a little relieved, it was February 29th, a leap year. My husband jokingly had said this baby was just waiting to be a leap year baby, I was not amused. I drifted off to sleep and contractions fizzled out just like they had in the nights prior. 

Around 4:20 a.m. I woke to a little bit of a stronger contraction, this was standard procedure by this point. I took the opportunity to get up and use the restroom and refill my water mug. While I was up sitting on the toilet I had another contraction, then another as I was waiting for my mug to fill. These didn’t feel any stronger than what I was used to but a little more persistent. I returned to bed and climbed back in. Before I could get settled there was another. Could this be the start of something? I looked over at the clock and it was right about 4:30 a.m. I decided to wake my David just in case. I knew it was going to take a good amount of time to fill the birth tub so we should get started even if things were just slowly ramping up. 

We joked about how long it was going to take to fill the tub and fumbled around the birth space straightening the liner. I had my twinkle lights plugged in and a list of ways I could distract myself during early labor. Once we got the water filling I had a contraction that made me stop what I was doing and really focus on it. David noticed and said he would finish filling the tub and I shouldn’t worry about it. I stood to the side and supervised his work, then had another contraction that made me lean over and call for him to do counter pressure on my lower back. “We need to call Misty.” I said, “You give her a call, I’ll keep filling the tub.” he replied. By the time I had her on the phone I remember telling her “I don’t think you’re going to make it.” She agreed but said she was on her way. The plan was for me to have the whole team there for the birth, she said she would take care of calling everyone.

After getting off the phone I realized I hadn’t got to hang my birth affirmations yet. I started towards the bedroom to get them but only made it a couple steps before another powerful wave hit and I was holding onto the bathroom door for support. David was right there to do counterpressure.I looked longingly at the birth tub, it only had maybe 4 inches of water in it and we were waiting for the hot water tank to refill. David offered to fill the bathtub as a substitute, I remember whining that was not what I wanted.  I decided I just needed to sit so things would slow down a little, I didn’t even make it to the couch before another contraction came and I felt like I needed to use the restroom. I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet, David close behind. As I sat there there was a sudden gush of fluid, it took me a moment to realize that was my water breaking. With the next contraction I could feel our baby starting to move down. I reached down and could feel the baby’s soft, molded head right there. I shouted at David to call Misty and put her on speaker phone. She was on her way, but definitely was not going to make it in time. The next contraction brought the baby’s head to a full crown. That’s when I realized I was going to have my baby on the toilet and I needed to move. I got down on my hands and knees on the floor with David behind me. 

All I was thinking was “Slow Down!! This is way too fast!!” but baby had different plans. Baby’s head was already born. I could feel baby start to rotate and pleaded with it to stop moving. Misty kept time and a reassuring voice as I screamed for baby to slow. I had a small wimpy contraction but no urge to push with it, so I waited for the next one. That contraction was like a freight train, and with it baby was born into Dad’s arms. David excitedly announced “It’s a boy!” as I sat stunned at what had just happened. It was only 5:13 a.m. 

David handed our baby to me through my legs. I laid him down on the floor in front of me to process what had just happened. Staring at him wiggling on the floor I was still in shock! After a minute I picked him up and we took the opportunity for a quick selfie. (looking at it now still makes me laugh!) David then helped me to the couch in the birth space to sit and wait for Misty. 

Once we snuggled in on the couch he latched right away like a seasoned pro. Misty arrived to find us on the couch nursing our new baby boy, Bryce. We gushed over how big he was while waiting on my placenta. About that time the older kids started waking up and came downstairs. They were just as shocked as we were that Bryce was already here. Our youngest daughter helped cut the cord. Shortly after our second midwife, Emily arrived. She was just in time for the newborn exam. Bryce weighed at in an impressive 11lbs 6oz!

The rest of Bryce’s birthday we spent snuggling, eating birthday cake and watching Frozen 2 with the older kids while I nursed our new baby. It was a whirlwind of a day, but we’re overjoyed to finally have Bryce in our arms.